Is nothing safe from Izzy and her mischievous protégé?

Some people like to collect vinyl records. Others are partial to fine whiskies or vintage watches.

Me? I appear to have inadvertently acquired a rather impressive odd sock collection. No joke!

Izzy, our beloved yet slightly crazy spaniel, takes great pleasure in nicking my socks every morning and running off with them. This “game” has now been going on for several years, and it is no exaggeration to say that my sock stockpile is depleting rapidly.

If I am lucky, I will occasionally find a sock lodged down the back of the sofa a few weeks later, or one will mysteriously appear on my pillow like a turn-down gift that you get in a nice hotel. But more often than not they seem to just vanish into thin air.

If I searched long and hard enough, I am sure I would find some kind of graveyard hidden within the recesses of our house where lonely, mismatched socks go to spend their final days. All I can say is thank goodness for Christmas, which is always an excellent opportunity to replenish by dwindling supply!

By contrast, I was reminded of just how disciplined some dogs can be when I caught some footage from Crufts on the TV last weekend. The winner of Best In Show this year was a Clumber spaniel named Bruin, who successfully saw off competition from almost 19,000 fellow competitors.

Well done Bruin!

Watching the coverage, I was left open-mouthed at the sheer composure of the dogs on show. Impeccably groomed, perfectly poised, and responding to the lightest touch or quietest command from their handlers.

They appeared to glide around the ring with the sort of calm elegance that suggests years of patient training and iron discipline. Not a lead tugged, not a paw out of place, not a single sock abducted.

Upon retrieving yet another sock from Izzy’s mouth, I turned to her and said, rather sternly, “I’m not sure you’d pass the Crufts obedience round.”

I am joking of course. Izzy is an exceptional dog. Great-looking, loyal, friendly… everything a family pet should be. But she is also very mischievous, with a particular talent for sock theft, slipper chewing and space-invading.

All great fun you might think, but need I remind you that Izzy now has a son in tow to watch her every move…

Izzy’s son, a member of the litter of “grand pups” we welcomed into the world a little over a year ago, is called Badger. Why? Because well, he looks like a badger (he really does as a white, black and liver tri-coloured Cocker).

Add to the fact that a “badger” is also an enthusiastic and knowledgeable cricket fan (“You old badger”), and it felt like the perfect name for the newest addition to the Hardy clan.

With Badger having learned Izzy’s tricks over the past year or so, there is now double trouble. Double the sock thefts. Double the mischief. And double the chaos.

So not only have I had the title of “grandparent” bestowed upon me far too early for my liking, but also I now find myself trying to maintain some semblance of order with two furry tornadoes underfoot!

She might have passed on some of her less helpful habits, but to be fair to her, Izzy has proven herself to be a great mum from the moment her litter was born. She didn’t roll on them for a start. Then again, I think we can largely thank the £400 whelping box for that (yes, I still haven’t quite recovered from that pricey puppy purchase).

There were some early lessons, of course. Badger quickly discovered that charging head-first into everything is not always the best approach to life, particularly when your mother is standing in the way. Izzy, for her part, showed remarkable restraint, gently nudging him back into line or giving him the silent but unmistakable that will do look that every parent will recognise.

Before long he was following her everywhere, copying everything she did… running, sniffing, exploring and, unfortunately for me, frequently making off with items that do not technically belong to him.

Despite the extra noise, fur, muddy paw prints and general mayhem that having two dogs brings, I am very much looking forward to being able to spend more time with them (and Martha and my wife too, obvs!) once I step down from my current role as CEO at ASEL.

Having spent 31 years in continuous employment, I am excited by the prospect of a slightly slower pace of life. It will be great to enjoy extended dog walks, letting Izzy and Badger tear across the sand, and venturing a little further afield to explore more of Dorset’s glorious coastline.

They might lack Crufts-level obedience, but I have to admit that life would be much less fun without my two wonderful hounds.

Besides, I only have 287 days to wait until the next Christmas sock replenishment… not that I’m counting!